Understanding imposter syndrome

TIMOTHY KLECKER: Hello, everyone, and welcome to our conversation today about understanding imposter syndrome, which is part of our Build My Career series presented by the U.S. Bank Goals Coaching team. In previous parts of this series, we've discussed elements such as career pathing, how to determine which direction you want to go with your career. 
We've also covered things like building up your resume, practicing interviewing skills, and of course, negotiating job offers. Today, we're going to focus more on a topic that impacts quite a number of people, which is imposter syndrome. We want to discuss a little bit more clearly what it is, what possibly causes it, and what are some of the things that you can do to overcome it. 
My name is Tim Klecker. I am one of the goal coaches here at U.S. Bank. I've been doing this for a number of years. I absolutely love what I do, working with people just like you on one-on-one sessions, as well as to do group coaching over a variety of topics, from financial to personal to professional. Every day, me and the other people on my team work with people to bring clarity and structure to their goals, solidifying what their main reasons are behind the motivations, putting some action steps together, and ultimately also becoming an accountability partner as they move forward. 
Everybody has goals. Everybody has things in their lives that they want to see changed or progress or to build upon. And if this sounds like something that you are interested in, or if any part of our conversation today resonates with you, I would encourage you to look closer into various resources, such as U.S. Bank Goal Coaching, and see if that might be a program that you would be willing to take a look in for yourself. 
But for now, let's move forward and start. What is imposter syndrome? Imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern in which one doubts one's accomplishments, or has a fear of being exposed as a fraud. Does not technically qualify as a psychological syndrome or medical disorder, despite its name. Also known as imposter phenomenon, or imposterism, fraud syndrome, or the imposter experience. 
Imposter syndrome affects both men and women and are common among high achievers who tend towards qualities such as perfectionism. Imposter syndrome was first identified in 1980s by psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes. And at its core, imposter syndrome manifests as an internalized dialogue that makes you feel like you aren't good enough. 
Even though it might sound weird for me to say, here's a potential good thing about imposter syndrome. In those moments when you feel like others might be overestimating your worth, it's more likely that you're actually underestimating yourself. Organizational psychologist, author, and speaker Adam Grant said "Imposter syndrome is a sign of your hidden potential, not a sign of being underqualified." This is important to consider and actually sheds a bit of a different light on the feelings associated with imposter syndrome. 
Doubts and fears often arise out of moments of uncertainty. We desire to feel safe in life, don't we? We don't like feeling uncomfortable. But as I encourage many of my clients when working with them on their goals, it's important to remember that we cannot grow in comfort. We simply can't. Ergo, when we are uncomfortable, odds are, underneath it, there's a potential for growth. There's an opportunity to make use of. 
Today, we're going to review the causes, the impacts, and also share an approach that you can use to understand the ways in which imposter syndrome might be getting in your way. So I'd like to start off by asking a very simple question for you to reflect on. How many of you can think of a time in your life, say, in college, or in your professional careers, or even in a personal relationship, that imposter syndrome may have held you back, or may existingly be holding you back? 
Now, I recognize that reflecting back on times of discomfort, times that we would all rather forget and put behind us, can be difficult. But let me tell you, from my experience as a coach and as someone who has dealt with imposter syndrome in my own life, avoidance is an unhelpful quality and poor motivator when it comes to growth, development, and pursuing goals. 
If you find yourself being motivated to avoid something, even facing the past, you limit your growth potential. Being open to allowing yourself to reflect may be a difficult roadblock for some, and therefore may take some time and practice. If you struggle with this, I may encourage you to spend some time journaling, or go for a drive alone with your thoughts, or even connect with a coach. 
With that, keep in mind also that reflecting on past experiences is not the same as dwelling on the past. The point is to learn and increase your awareness, which will be something that we keep coming back to during our conversation today. Try to remember that self-awareness precedes all personal growth. 
Take time to do this if you're finding it difficult. What might you have gained, either then or now, if you had been more aware that imposter syndrome was happening, if you were aware that you were being held back by these feelings? Again, take the time if you need to, but then let's continue. Let's look now at some of the known causes of imposter syndrome. 
Multiple factors can contribute to feelings of inadequacy or imposterism, including your personality, upbringing, or even a past or current work environment. Most of these are environmental and/or outside of our control, unfortunately. Consider which of these that we're about to go over may be a potential source of your imposter syndrome. 
First, upbringing. Upbringing, and parenting style, in particular. A person's early relationships with their parents can play a role in the development of imposterism. For example, if your parents were overprotective or controlling, you may be more at risk. Similarly, it's more common when a family puts high priority on achievement, or when parents are inconsistent in how they criticize or praise their children. 
I also want to note here, it's important that I am not proposing that we cast any sort of blame towards the people who raised us. In reality, we cannot control what others do or have done. We can't change the past. Instead, I want to encourage that your energy may be put more towards moving forward. In this moment, you are who you are. You are where you are. The question worth asking is, who do you want to be in the future, and where do you want to be in the future? 
Number two, being different from your peers. Recognizable differences between you and your peers might increase your susceptibility to imposter-ish feelings. For instance, in the workplace or classroom, you might differ from those around you in terms of ethnicity, race, gender, age, or socioeconomic status. Also, other factors such as tall or short, funny, shy, introverted, extroverted. 
It doesn't really matter what the difference is, although it may be worth pondering over why that difference in particular is the one that you're fixated on. This could very well be the central reason why imposter syndrome seems to be more common, or found to be more common, in women and minority groups. 
Now, here are some potential scenarios that may sound familiar. Think about this for just a moment. You're in a classroom full of people of the opposite gender. You would most likely feel a little uncomfortable. It would be noticeable. Or if you are the youngest in a room, you may question your level of experience compared to those around you. When you're new to a place or a group of people, it's normal to compare yourself to what you immediately see, what you're observing, even if that is only part of the story. 
Conversely, have you ever recognized, when you're with your group, or when you're with an area that's of comfort to you, when someone else may be feeling this way rather than you? How aware are you of other people's discomfort, maybe that they are dealing with imposter syndrome? What can you do or share or demonstrate in those moments to create a sense of psychological safety for them? 
Social media. Many studies indicate that social media can affect your confidence and your self-esteem. It's easy to judge yourself harshly when you're looking at a highlight reel of your peers' adventures and successes and achievements. One 2023 survey of LinkedIn users found that using the platform and browsing through other people's posts triggered imposter-ish thoughts. Those thoughts can then lead to negative emotions, like anxiety or despondency. Again, the solution to this is not avoidance, it's awareness. Once we become more aware, we can regulate how we then choose to proceed. 
Your setting can have an impact. Imposter syndrome seems to be very common, particularly in academia, especially in doctoral programs. As you might imagine, the pressure is high to deliver and exceed those expectations that you might be placing upon yourself, or that others may feel like are placing upon you. It's possible that these types of environments breed a culture of competitiveness. 
And similar to the differences between peers scenario, industries dominated by a predominant specific group, particularly in upper management, may cause some people to feel undeserving of recognition or opportunity, or even cause them to question the value or impact that they bring. Perfect example of this might be a woman who feels a little bit of imposter syndrome when surrounded by a bunch of male leaders. 
And personality. Now, research shows that people who are highly neurotic, meaning easily upset or prone to anxiety, are more likely to experience imposter syndrome in some form. The same is true for people who tend to be perfectionists. And as might be expected, those with low self-esteem is also related to higher risks of having imposter syndrome. 
Now that we've covered some of the causes, let's take a look a little bit more deeply at the overall impact. Where does imposter syndrome tend to manifest for you? Again, reflect on some of these things we're talking about. As has been mentioned a couple of times so far, a big part of overcoming imposter syndrome and the associated feelings is first growing in awareness around it. Again, I encourage you to reflect on this and maybe take note, possibly write it down. 
Is it at work or in your career, your professional life, that it tends to show up? Maybe more in your personal life than your professional life. Maybe it's when meeting new people, your social life as a broader category. Or when are you considering trying something new or on the precipice of a major change, opportunities for growth? I remember when I bought my first house and how, despite suddenly becoming a homeowner, I didn't feel like I knew how to be a homeowner. And there may be many numbers of these first-time scenarios that fall into a category similar to this. 
It could be all of the above, right? Or maybe even identify-- or maybe even you've identified a specific set of circumstances that tend to trigger these feelings of imposter syndrome. What's important here is to develop your own ability to notice, to pay attention, to become more aware when it occurs and/or what those patterns might be. Once you become more aware of these patterns, we may really begin to measure the impact. 
Imposter syndrome is usually experienced as an ongoing fear of being found out, or that we are incompetent or unable to replicate past successes. This can lead to negative evaluation of oneself in addition to negative self-talk. Note here that the form of fear of what others might think of us is pretty prominent. Their evaluation, their judgment of us, this leads us so easily to being harshly critical of ourselves. Even worse, it can result in distorted perceptions of reality. 
Something interesting about the human subconscious. It doesn't like when things don't connect or tend to make sense. In absence of verifiable truths, it will attempt to fill in the blanks with unrealistic, sometimes imagined, possibilities. Here's an example. I never received an invitation to the party. That's the truth. Maybe you didn't receive an invitation to the party. 
If we don't understand why, we start to speculate. Maybe I don't have as many friends as I thought I did. Maybe people don't think I'm fun to be around. Maybe people would have more fun without me. And so on and so on. And yet we don't really know if that's the case. This is where processing the right mindset comes in. 
These false distortions may very well be truths we foundationalize our beliefs on, which lead us to limiting beliefs. In our lives, we can see these fears or these limiting beliefs begin to impact our desire and ability to take risks or try something new. Can any of you think of a time that you wanted to try something but were afraid to do it due to lack of confidence? 
Also, they may impact our desirability to move ahead in our career. Who here feels confident going after a promotion if you don't believe that you are worthy of it? Maybe it's making life-changing decisions. We can even think of this in the context of financial decisions. How many of you wanted to, say, buy a house but talked yourself out of it due to the fear of feeling possibly undeserving? Or thought about changing careers, but didn't trust yourself enough to make the change and be successful? 
Also, at work, it may make it very difficult to highlight your accomplishments, or even to accept the recognition that you have earned. How many of you struggle when it comes time to do your year-end performance reviews to find things to write about yourself that truly showcase the hard work that you put in? And when these stories we tell ourselves become beliefs, they create neural pathways in our minds that generate negative emotions as we handle life's everyday challenges. 
They essentially become the automatic default, go-to patterns in our mind for how to think, feel, and respond. These automatic patterns of our minds can cause stress, anxiety, self-doubt, frustration, restlessness, and of course, unhappiness. Ultimately, questioning your worth can sabotage your potential for happiness. 
Hopefully, now you can fully respect the overall impact and severity of how this process hinders one's growth based on what we've discussed here. While you are not your thoughts, they are the filter or lens through which you see the world. Your thoughts have the potential to impact your energy, your psyche, your beliefs about the world, and your beliefs about yourself. 
Now, who here is familiar with a gentleman named Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee may be the most famous martial artist that we think of. Rivaled some others, of course. And that is absolutely his claim to fame. But we also have a lot of sage advice and lines that he has shared with people in the world. One of my favorite quotes from him is this. 
"Don't speak negatively about yourself, even as a joke. Your body doesn't know the difference. Words are energy and cast spells, that's why it's called spelling. Change the way you speak about yourself, and you can change your life. What you're not changing, you're also choosing." 
Now, there are many parts to this quote, each of them valuable. For me, the part where he says, "change the way you speak about yourself and you can change your life" is particularly of importance. The way you speak about yourself impacts the way you feel about yourself. It also relates to the way that we express our thoughts and our opinions and our perspectives and beliefs when we engage with other people. 
How often do we hold back from sharing such things because we're afraid of reprisals, or even the consequences, of speaking our mind? What does this habit of staying silent, staying reserved, do to us? Maybe we begin to formulate the belief that our opinions or perspectives don't matter, or that they have no value. Maybe then we begin to think that we have no value. 
Do you see how the cycle turns back on itself here? And does this sound familiar to anybody? Can you identify a time in your life where maybe this has been your thought process? Now, I'm not saying that we should necessarily just blurt out whatever comes to our mind or whatever we're thinking, whoever would happen to be listening. But we are allowed to have our own perspectives, and we're under no obligation to have to always explain ourselves to make ourselves feel justified. Part of growth is the ongoing journey to discover what we think and believe and why. 
In any case, let's move on. Now, we've talked about what imposter syndrome is, and we know some of the causes of it. What can we do to overcome it? Step one, listen to your inner voice. Those negative thoughts, that voice inside your head, the inner critic is what neuroscientist Shirzad Chamine calls your "inner judge" and what psychotherapist Rick Carson calls your "gremlin." 
Both of these men have written books and works on these, which I'll share more about with all of you later. I encourage you to explore each of their approaches if you are someone impacted by imposter syndrome. But for starters, you can practice and prepare by getting to know your inner voice a little bit better. 
Admittedly, this can be tough for some people. Maybe we don't feel like we even have a voice because we spent a long time letting other voices dominate. But this is where maybe the work needs to happen. Building awareness around your pattern of thinking, how you think given the particular context you find yourself in, is going to give you insight into where those moments of self-doubt or lack of confidence manifest and originate from. 
Again, remember, self-awareness precedes all personal growth. This is one of the most important tenets of coaching and of the coaching process. You can't change what you're not aware of, especially when it comes to habits and behaviors. This is why people with low self-awareness find it harder to change, and may often play the blame game in life. So become consciously aware and take notice of negative thoughts when they occur. 
Also, as the awareness around these patterns and triggers becomes more apparent, pay attention to the emotions that surface as a result of the inner voice. In time, once identified, the associated emotions may become the alarm bell, indicating that something is off in these situations. So listen to those. Look out for them. 
To help you better note or remember, consider writing these moments, both thoughts and the connecting emotions, down in a journal. I know I've mentioned writing things down a couple of times at this point, but writing can be cathartic, and it is a good way of compiling and organizing your thoughts. 
Also, in order to help you in this process, consider developing the skill of active listening. Did you know that the words "listen" and "silent" have the same letters in them? Right? So seek to listen, not to respond, even with your own thoughts. While many of us practice good listening skills with our friends or our coworkers or our loved ones, our family, we rarely do such a good job with ourselves. 
Try to be present with those racing and automatic thoughts, so that you can build that awareness around how they are making you feel. If you feel so compelled, take a couple of minutes right now, listen, and write down what you're hearing. What are the common messages that go through your head? What is your inner voice saying? 
Now, step two, investigate with open-ended questions. There's a bit of self-analysis that will need to happen here. Once you hear this voice, once you identify it, it's important that you take a moment to investigate. Be curious about yourself, not judgmental. You're not looking to bully yourself from all of your thoughts or your emotions. Instead, be curious and genuinely explore why. 
As coaches, we spend a great deal of our time with clients exploring this very thing by asking open-ended questions. An open-ended question is one that cannot be answered with a yes or a no. It is a question that encourages exploration. I want you to remember that. It is a question that encourages exploration. 
Now, let me give you an example. Let's say you're in a professional setting. You've just had a one-on-one with your manager, and they have inquired if you would be interested in becoming their successor. They are confident that you are ready for a leadership role and want to gauge your thoughts and your interest. You leave the call or the meeting feeling a mixture of emotions-- a little bit of surprise, excitement, nervousness. 
And then the question creeps in. Why me? It's a moment where we begin to analyze our worth, the reasons why we're being considered, and we start to create this list of criteria based on our own inner critic. This automatic response may lead to more negative thoughts like, I'm not ready. I don't have the experience. Or, they'll find out that I don't have or I can't do such and such. And then, when they find out, it's not going to be a good end. 
This is where open-ended questions should come in, before this train of thought gets too far down the track, and it gets harder for you to come back. Remember, open-ended questions encourage exploration. They're not meant for you to create an internal pros and cons list to weigh your worth. 
So here are some that you may try. Where and how have I shown that I am a natural leader? What was my most recent accomplishment, and what makes me proud of that accomplishment? What may be causing me, in this moment, to doubt my own abilities? 
Note here, the answer to any of these questions doesn't have to be specific to your professional life. I'm just simply trying, in this moment, to evoke positive emotions. Also, remember that there's a difference between living up to someone's expectations and living up to their example, especially when asked to become someone's successor. In the case of the former, we've already met their expectations. Otherwise, they wouldn't have offered the position to us. 
With the latter, know that no one is expecting you to become simply a carbon copy clone of the person that you would be replacing. Part of the growth opportunity is to establish your own example that others one day may look up to or follow. This is a good thing. This is part of growth. 
Now, a moment ago, I encouraged you to maybe take a couple of minutes and write down some of your own self-sabotaging thoughts. If you did, or if you thought of one, I want you to pick one of those out now, and let's spend just a moment examining what that thought might look like with some of these open-ended questions. What does this thought-- or when does this thought usually occur? 
What type of situation or situations trigger it? What is your most common response or reaction to those negative thoughts? Do you simply accept it as is? And if so, what changes do you feel in your body when you do? Or do you typically have a response to this thought in a positive way or a negative way? If so, what is the response? 
What if what you feel or think in a moment where you're experiencing imposter syndrome is maybe not what's the truth, what's really going on? Think about that one. Well, what if? Ask that question. What if this isn't true? And last question for now. If you knew that you could get rid of those thoughts for good, how much do you believe your confidence would improve? This practice of being curious with open-ended questions is vital in ridding yourself of the bad habit of negative self-talk and everything that leads to it or leads from it, which we've covered in great detail so far. 
Now, it's time to move on to the next step, which is reframing your thinking. We as human beings are capable of charting a new path with any habit or behavior. But remember, our brains are a muscle, and like all muscles, they need to be worked, and they need to be utilized over and over again in order to grow. 
Reframing your thinking takes effort, time, and energy, and most of all, patience. It's a process that has to be repeated over and over again before it starts to feel natural. Please remember, this will take time, so be graceful with your expectations. Meaningful change is a marathon, not a sprint. 
Once your open-ended questions have moved you into that positive place, which, again, is the point, to encourage you to explore. Once they have moved you to that positive place, it's time to reframe the thinking. One of my favorite questions to ask those that I coach is, what if the opposite were true? Again, if you can't tell, I love What If questions. 
Now, it is time to use those positive emotions to make clear and direct statements in response to that earlier voice that you heard. I want to note here, as a coach, I tend to be very honored to experience a client's analysis of themselves in real time, as they speak their thoughts aloud, and they share them with another human being. It is really, honestly, a privilege. 
However, if you're not going to be doing this with a coach, if you're doing this on your own, though it may feel strange, I recommend that you consider speaking to yourself, either out loud, maybe using a mirror, or at the very least, write them down. Something happens when we manifest our thoughts in words or on the page that is different than if we just keep them in our heads swimming around. There is a process. There's an order that can be helpful. 
Now, let's use the same example that we just reviewed, the one about the potential succession that you're being asked to consider. Your positive and re-affirming statements may sound something like this. My leadership skills are evident in the way I manage stressful situations at work and in my personal life. I tap into my personal brand and strengths to build productive and valuable relationships with my peers and my leaders. 
With my growth mindset, I have the ability to adapt and flex to a new role with additional responsibilities. I know I am capable because here's the evidence. These are positive thoughts. Recalling the self-sabotaging thought that I encouraged you to write down a minute ago, how can you possibly reframe it into something positive? 
If you find reframing your thoughts to be difficult, imagine again-- apart from speaking to the mirror or out loud to yourself or writing it down-- but imagine instead that you are speaking to a friend. What would you say to your friend when they are experiencing a moment of doubt or seeking some validation? Give it a try, to speak to yourself in that same manner as if you would a close friend. 
The steps that we just covered are intentionally left simple, because building a new habit and/or pattern of thinking doesn't come naturally to most people. While this process may feel a little awkward at first, it will get easier with time and practice. So here is your call to action today in overcoming imposter syndrome. Follow these steps. 
Listen to your inner voice. Become aware of your thoughts and your patterns. Investigate the negative thoughts and emotions with open-ended questions. Remember, be curious, not judgmental. Reframe thoughts into positive affirmations that build you up, rather than break you down or hold you in comparison to something. Practice and repeat. 
It's also important that you remember to acknowledge and celebrate your progress. In those moments where your confidence is lacking, I want to encourage you to choose, overall, courage. Courage isn't the opposite of fear. It's what you employ in face of that fear. Lack of confidence and fear will keep us frozen where we are. But as a good friend of mine once shared with me, only action cures fear. Most of the fear will dissipate as you begin to move forward. 
Now, if you think you want to invest more time and energy into overcoming imposter syndrome, I earlier mentioned to you the works of Rick Carson and Shirzad Chamine. Their books, Taming Your Gremlin and Positive Intelligence, might be very beneficial for you to take a look at. So note them. Possibly follow the links if they end up being live for you during this video. 
And I hope that you have heard today and everything that we've covered and talked about has been helpful and potentially sparked your interest in diving a little more deeply into the beliefs that you have about yourself, and more importantly, the way that you can take that level of responsibility, that you can find your courage to make progress in overcoming some of these obstacles. Challenge those beliefs, those limiting beliefs, those things that hold you back from being and living out your full potential. 
If you want to overcome imposter syndrome, it's going to require you to set a goal, plan a course of action, and be disciplined in applying your self-awareness and your effort. And that's where we as goals coaches-- this is where we can help if you are ready to take that step. Our coaches are all trained in areas of behavioral science and goal achievement. We know what it takes to strengthen good habits and replace less than helpful ones. 
We also have access to a variety of resources for which you can make use of, especially with our sessions, including subject matter experts who can offer valuable insights around various financial components or services or tools that might help you. Whether your goal is professional, financial, or personal, we can help. And I hope that you consider us. 
There are six coaches currently, at the time of this recording, on our team. Each of us have a little bit of a different background, but all of us are committed to helping you make progress with your goals. Initially, you have two options for signing up with a session with any of our coaches. There's the option to do a 15-minute introductory call, where you can get to know them a little bit, share what it is that's bringing you there, what your focuses are going to be in your time together, and then you can schedule your full hour-long conversation. 
Or if you're feeling motivated and ready, you can just schedule a full hour session right away. You'll do the introductory things at the start, and then you will move in to putting some structure to those goals, including time frames, dollar amounts, and solidifying your motivations. Again, we want you to feel comfortable with the coach that you choose. That way, you can make the best kind of progress that you're hoping to make, that's leading you and driving you to sign up in the first place. 
With that, I want to thank all of you for being here today, for listening to our conversation about understanding imposter syndrome. I hope that you are taking away something valuable to help you understand yourself better, to put you on better footing to help you move forward. We are here to help. So reach out if you want and see how we can partner and support you. 
Thank you, and I hope you have a wonderful day. For recordings, be sure to rewind and listen to other parts again. See if there's something more that you want to delve into. I absolutely encourage it. It's one of the benefits of recordings. If not, I hope to see you in a live conversation soon. Have a great day.